


It's a Funny Thing This Fate

by BrokenPoet12



Series: The Fate Series [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Mild Sexual Content, Romance, So much angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-01-01 03:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12147978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenPoet12/pseuds/BrokenPoet12
Summary: Direct sequel to The Things That Remain. Read that first.After his return from the alternate earth and the events that took place there, Harry has to come to terms with the idea that fighting what fate has in store is a lot harder than fighting any demons he's ever known. And Caitlin will have to decide who she wants to be if she's ever going to allow herself to find happiness.





	1. Prologue - Harry

The bar was crowded when Harry walked in and he instantly felt a surge of irritation that almost had him turning on his heel and leaving. From his spot just inside the doorway, Harry surveyed the room, eyes moving over the patrons, a frown firmly in place. He'd been fighting coming here for weeks; ever since he'd found out she was there. But he'd been unable to resist it any longer, the pull to her too much, and so there he was. 

Music played in the background and the sound of too many conversations going at once had the noise level in the room high. As Harry looked around, he could feel a headache starting behind his eyes and sighed. But he couldn't leave. Not yet. A couple passed in front of him then, and Harry stepped aside to let them by, nodding absently at them when they smiled. When he looked up again, Harry felt his stomach clench. Across the room, behind the bar, Caitlin Snow was watching him. 

He stood rooted to his spot and stared at her. She frowned as she took him in and Harry could tell she was thinking about leaving. But the woman across the room held her ground, stared defiantly back at him, and waited. Harry felt a smile start but quickly schooled his expression back into what he hoped was neutral. This was the first time he'd seen her since he'd gotten back and it had been months. He'd be damned if he wasted the opportunity. His visit to the other Earth had left him longing for the possibility of a future he'd never let himself imagine. But Harry knew it wouldn't be easy and the chance that it might not be was always in the back of his mind. 

But he couldn't fight himself any more. Couldn't fight her. 

His time on the parallel earth had left him confused and shaken for days after he and Cisco had returned. Their failed attempt to free Barry from the speed force prison had left both men saddened and a bit lost. Harry had promised to stay and help the others when Barry had left, but he'd gone back on his word, again, and left for Earth-2 briefly. He'd tried to continue his life there, but if was honest with himself, he knew that Earth-2 would never be the home he'd once thought it was. Still, he'd muddled through his first few weeks and managed to try and put things behind him. 

Until Cisco had breached into his living room one night and told him that he'd found Caitlin. Harry and Cisco had argued that night. Harry didn't want to meddle, didn't want to keep trying to get to the woman who wanted nothing to do with the team or him. Cisco had listened to him yell and rant silently until Harry had run out of steam and sat back on his sofa. Then Cisco laid into him. He'd told Harry to stop hiding and called him a coward. Then asked him why he seemed so intent on being miserable just to be miserable. When Harry had started to tell him he deserved it, Cisco had heard enough. He'd promptly grabbed Harry by his arm, opened a breach, and taken them both back to Earth-1. 

There Harry found out that Cisco had been keeping in touch with their counterparts on the parallel Earth and that the other Harry had sent them a gift. It was small and unassuming, but the note with it said that it would help Caitlin regulate herself rather than completely suppressing her Killer Frost persona. It was hidden in a black necklace and for the first time in weeks, Harry let himself hope. But he'd refused to go and see Caitlin. 

Cisco had gone himself in the end. He'd reached out to her and offered to meet her. Neither man believed she'd go, but she continued to surprise them. So on a cold, rainy day in October, Cisco had waited for her in the same park that Gypsy had been in when she'd come for HR. Harry monitered the meeting from the Cortex, and had Wally standing by in case of a problem, but it went smoothly. Cisco and Caitlin talked for a long time, mostly about nothing. From nearby security cameras, Harry watched the pair. Caitlins' hair was still white and she looked even more unnaturally pale in the low quality footage, but she seemed relatively alright and talked with Cisco easily. 

When Cisco gave her the necklace, Harry was sure that she'd refuse it, given how poorly she had taken to the idea of the cure Julian had created. But the woman had accepted it silently and fastened it around her neck. The change was instant; and right before his eyes Harry could see the Caitlin that he'd known for so long. When she and Cisco exchanged a hug, Harry turned off the security feeds but keep the audio on, just in case. As he sat back in his chair, he heard his name and upped the volume. 

"Was this from Harry?" Caitlin asked, voice quiet over the speakers. He could almost picture Cisco's face as the engineer tried to come up with an answer. Technically it was, but not the Harry she expected. Cisco settled for a simple yes, not bothering to explain further other than a soft,

"It's complicated."

"Im guessing he's listening?" she asked, and Cisco didn't answer, but Harry could hear the sound of the earpiece being shuffled and he leaned forward, closer to the speaker. "Harry?" 

"I'm here, Snow." he said quietly, voice suddenly tight with emotion. 

"I....thank you." 

"Anything. Anything you need." His eyes closed, and he waited for her to say something, anything. An ache settled in his chest and he sigh softly. 

"Just give me some time Harry." Caitlin's voice was soft, and he knew she was being careful. The longing in him flared suddenly and he sank back. 

"I'll see you around Snow." 

And with that she was gone and the comms had fallen silent. That had been several weeks ago. Cisco and Caitlin had kept in touch and Harry was updated without prompting by the young engineer. As much as he wanted to ask about her himself, he couldn't yet. He'd been throwing himself into his work,splitting his time between both earths after he'd promised Cisco that he'd be back. The truth of it was that Harry felt like he was tying up loose ends on his home world but he'd never admit it if asked. For years he'd been searching for something and his time with his counterpart had finally revealed what that was. Home. 

But the idea still soured in his mind because Harry knew there was one critical piece of that missing. Caitlin. Her doppelganger had shaken that out of him and left that particular wound very much open. Seeing her happy with an alternate version of himself, seeing the love between the two, had brought everything painfully into light. And he'd been jealous at first. Why couldn't he have a world where he got to be happy? Where he got what he so desperately wanted? 

The happiness that he'd witnessed in his short time on the other earth had quickly turned his jealousy into longing. When he and the other Caitlin had spoken, he knew she understood what he'd been going through. And she'd been kind, offering him guidance and support. Just like he knew his own Caitlin would have. Harry couldn't help it, but he knew he'd have loved her too and that felt like a curse to him because he'd never have her either. But, seeing himself, even another version, and the love between them had left him feeling hopeful. 

But still, he'd run away when they'd come back until Cisco had forced him to face the situation. After their initial meeting, Cisco had worked on gaining Caitlin's trust and rebuilding some of their friendship. Harry knew that Cisco missed his friend and the regret the young man felt when he'd gone to fight her. But the two were working slowly on fixing what had been, even though they all knew nothing could be the same as before. But both Harry and Cisco wanted her back and she'd agreed that eventually she would be. That had been enough for both men. 

Until a new threat had emerged and left the entire team scrambling for a solution. Cisco had named him Baron Katana and the man was ruthless. He'd attacked Central City several times and Wally had nearly been killed. Jesse, Iris, and Joe had intervened, distracting the villain, until Cisco had disabled him with a makeshift cold gun. The samurai had fled, leaving the team in shell-shocked shambles and Harry and Cisco knew they'd need help. Cisco had been adamant after the battle that they needed to find Barry but surprisingly Iris had been the most vehement that it was a lost cause. Neither Harry nor Cisco had told the others about their trip to the alternate Earth or about their disastrous attempt to free Barry. Harry knew they were going to have too eventually, but he'd stalled and managed to convince Cisco to keep quiet. In turn the engineer had told Harry that maybe Caitlin could help then. At first he'd protested the idea but Harry knew that eventually the samurai would return and two speedsters hadn't been enough to deter him. The only thing that had ended the fight had been the cold gun. And even it hadn't been nearly powerful enough to stop the man for long.

So Harry had finally given in and asked Cisco where Caitlin was and he'd gone to her himself. Which was how he found himself in a crowded bar, staring at her from her across the room. Getting there had been easy enough and he'd been surprised, but he didn't count on the fact that everything he'd planned on saying to her would leave him when he saw her. Instead, Harry stood rooted to his spot by the door and couldn't move. The only thing he could coherently think of was how badly he wanted to close the distance between them and go to her. 

His legs, and his will failed him though, and the long moment that stretched between then passed when someone bumped him roughly from behind. He turned reflexively, scowling as an intoxicated man mumbled apologies and by the time he turned back, Caitlin had gone. 

The sudden sense of loss that flared had Harry taking a half step forward but he knew it was pointless. He'd missed his chance. He scanned the room once more, sighed softly and turned for the door. He'd have to see if Cisco could reach out to her now. 

X


	2. Prologue - Caitlin

Life had not worked out at all the way Caitlin Snow had planned. Even as a little girl, living in a broken home with an alcoholic father and a cold mother, Caitlin had always had big dreams for her future. She'd known by high school that she'd pursue a career in science. By her first year in college she'd selected her major, bioengineering, pursued her bachelors and masters, and then gone on to attain her PhD. She hadn't even been graduated when Harrison Wells had tapped her to work for him at S.T.A.R. Labs and before she'd known it, Caitlin had been swept up in the dream that was the particle accelerator. She'd been swept up by Ronnie Raymond too. 

Accused of being cold and aloof sometimes, Caitlin had taken to Ronnie in a way that she'd never done with another person before, except for maybe Doctor Wells. Or... the man who had been impersonating him. Still, Caitlin and Ronnie fit, mostly. She'd been happy. Ronnie's boyish enthusiasm and positive energy had Caitlin emerging from a shell of self imposed distance from the world around her. And it had felt right. 

But, thinking back, Caitlin had admitted to herself after he'd died the second time that right and fate were two entirely different animals. She'd mourned her husband's death deeply. He'd been her friend, confidant, and her other half and it would have been impossible not to miss his presence in her life. However Caitlin had always known she'd been missing something else. It left her feeling guilty and cold on the nights when she'd sat up thinking about it. It also left her longing because she knew that somewhere out there, there was someone she was supposed to find. Not that she ever thought she would. 

Until Harrison Wells of Earth-2 showed up at S.T.A.R. Labs. 

He'd been abrupt, rude, insensitive, and absolutely awful in those first weeks. The entire team had constantly questioned his motives between themselves, and though Barry was cautiously alright with the doppelganger of their dead boss, Cisco had been deeply disturbed by his arrival. Caitlin though, she'd know even in those early days that there was something about the man from another earth. She'd resisted it, even if that was futile. 

For his part, Harry had done his best to keep everyone at arms length. He'd been adamant about Barry needing to train to fight Zoom, antagonizing towards everyone that questioned his single minded desire, and he'd shut down any time one of them tried to get to know him. It would have been funny really, if any of the others had bothered to list the similarities between him and Caitlin. Something she found herself doing more and more as the weeks had passed. 

She felt a strange kinship with that abrupt and surly man. He'd lost someone close and had shut down as a result. His personal skills were severely lacking and while the others just attributed it to him being an asshole, Caitlin knew better. When the news about Jesse had been revealed, she could understand. He was missing a part of himself. Just like her. So she tried to get to know him, never realizing that the pull she had felt had slowly started filling in the longing shed lived with for years. When he'd been ready to leave, Caitlin knew she had to stop him. She'd told herself it was because he was a part of the team and that he needed them. She was lying but she still tracked him down one night and asked him to stay. When he refused at first, the anger that had flared fought with an overwhelming sense of impending loss. She didn't want him to go. She didn't want to lose him. But he'd stayed. And even though he still kept everyone at arms length they settled in to each other's orbit and began to learn. When Patty Spivot had shot him in the Cortex, Caitlin could feel her world collapsing. The thought of Harry dying there on a table because of the sins of a man who happened to look like him was too much. She'd begged Hunter for his help and together they had saved him. Everything changed after that. 

Harry was passionate. Where the others saw a single minded obsession, Caitlin could see his desire to fix and atone for his mistakes. He started seeking her out and the pair quickly settled into a comfortable routine as they worked together. It's hard not to like someone when they've saved your life, and he ended up repaying the favor when Grodd kidnapped her. 

Somewhere along the way, Caitlin realized that she'd found what had been missing and the realization had left her shaken. It seemed wildly unfair to her that she should be so deeply affected by someone she'd only just met. There was guilt as well, because Ronnie was only recently gone and she'd known she hadn't felt this way about her husband. It left her cold and confused. Things happened quickly and Zoom had everyone scrambling. But then he was gone, and so was Harry. When he'd told the team he was returning to Earth-2 was the moment that things seemed to start going wrong for Caitlin. 

Fast-forward another year and things had only gotten worse. Because of the decisions made by someone else, Caitlin had slowly lost herself and started to become Killer Frost. Things had gone downhill quickly after that. When the dust had finally settled and Savitar was gone, Caitlin had been left with nothing. She'd lost her team. She'd lost her best friend. She'd lost herself. And she'd lost Harry. The last time she'd seen him had been at HR's funeral. The two hadn't spoken, she couldn't bring herself to face him, but she knew he had seen her. When she had left the cemetery that day, Caitlin knew then that she'd probably lost him and the feeling of absolute emptiness had slipped in. Consumed by it and the cold inside of her, she started trying to come to terms with her new life. But she was alone and that felt like something she'd never get away from. 

And then months into her self imposed exile, she'd gotten a message from Cisco. At first she'd ignored it because honestly, why would he try to contact her after everything that had happened? But he'd kept at it and finally she'd broken down. 

They agreed on a public meeting place. Open, not too crowded, but out of the way. Cisco suggested the park and Caitlin agreed. The meeting happened on a wet night midway through October. When she had seen Cisco for the first time since the funeral, Caitlin felt something inside of her snap into place. This was right. Before either realized it, they were hugging and Caitlin Snow was crying. 

"It's going to be okay Caitlin." Cisco whispered as he held her tightly. Her breath hitched then as she held onto Cisco and she could feel the cold in her flare. But it didn't manifest and she didn't pull away. Finally, after a long moment, the two friends separated and Cisco took one of her hands gently in his. 

"Thank you." Caitlin mumbled, unable to meet his eyes. When she felt him squeeze her hand gently, she huffed a laugh and settled down on the bench. The pair sat silently for a while, ignoring the rain that feel around them. It was Cisco that broke the silence. 

"I just want you to know that we miss you. We need our kick ass bioengineer slash doctor slash voice of reason back. But if you're not ready..." He trailed off and glanced over at her. 

"I think I want to be but I don't know if I can Cisco." 

"That's completely up to you Cait." She sighed then and finally looked over at him. Cisco was smiling, but he looked troubled. It had been months since she'd seen him and their last few encounters had not been pleasant. When she didn't speak again, he started to fill her in on what had happened in her absence. Hearing about Barry and his imprisonment in the speed force left her aching with guilt. Her time with Savitar, the things she'd done, if anyone deserved the fate Barry was facing it felt like she deserved it the most. When she said as much, Cisco laughed. "You and Harry are quite the pair. Always blaming yourselves for things out of your control."

"That's not..." She started, feeling a surge of irritation and pain at the mention of Harry. 

"I'm teasing you. Speaking of Harry, we have something for you." he dug through one of his pockets for a moment before he found what he'd been looking for and held it out to her. Caitlin freed her hand from his and took the object. When she unwrapped it and saw the necklace, she threw a questioning glance at Cisco. "It's not a cure because there's nothing to cure. But if you want it, it should help regulate you." 

Caitlin nodded and gripped the necklace tightly in her hands for a moment before she reached up and fastened it around her neck. The change was instant and she could feel a wave of calm sweep through her. The ever present cold slid down, and she felt lighter than she had in months. "This was from Harry?" she questioned, missing the look the passed over Cisco's face. When he shrugged next to her she glanced over. 

"It's... Complicated." 

"I'm guessing he's listening?" Cisco didn't answer, instead he reached up to his ear and pulled a small earpiece out. He handed it to her wordlessly and she held it up to her own. "Harry?" There was silence and then she heard the faint crackle of static as he spoke. 

"I'm here Snow." His voice sent warmth flaring through her for the first time in months. 

"I... Thank you." She spoke quietly, consciousness Cisco next to her but suddenly desperate to tell Harry everything she couldn't. 

"Anything. Anything you need." Her eyes closed at the promise in his voice and she could feel herself on the verge of losing control. She swallowed hard as her courage fled. 

"I just need time." Caitlin faltered then and fell silent. She listened intently for Harry,all too aware of Cisco next to her then startled when he finally answered her after a long moment. 

"I'll see you around Snow." Even over the earpiece she could hear the moment he'd retreated, and something in her broke. She said he goodbyes to Cisco, after he made her promise to keep in touch and she fled. 

Over the months that followed she'd worked on coming to terms with her other half. The necklace helped. Whatever was in it was working and she no longer felt consumed by anger and cold. She'd managed to find a job at a hole in the wall bar and kept herself afloat. At night she went home to an empty apartment, existing solely to sleep, wake, survive, work, and sleep again. She kept her promise to Cisco and made sure she kept in touch with him, but she never asked about Harry. Her friend happily volunteered information though, and even that tenuous connection kept her going. She still missed him desperately. Missed all of them really. Barry's absence had not left the team in good condition, and though he never outright asked, the unspoken question of when she would be coming back was always present between her and Cisco. 

She didn't have an answer. 

And then one night Harry walked into the bar. She felt it as soon as he did and found him easily by the door. His discomfort was obvious and it brought a smile to her face. But she also felt like running because she wasn't ready to face him. When their eyes met across the crowded room she could feel something inside of her shift and it held her in place. The two stood, caught in a silent stalemate that neither was willing to break until someone bumped into Harry and he looked away. Caitlin's courage fled again and with a final look, she turned and left. 

The pain she felt as she slipped out the back was almost unbearable. 

X


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is taking so long. I don't have this written out and I've been stuck.

Harry's trip back home had taken a long and winding path through the city. He'd forgone a cab in favor of the walk, giving himself some much needed time to think. Since his return from Earth-2 he'd been at loose ends and tonight had not helped. He'd been avoiding Caitlin. The guilt from that had left him with a heavy weight in his chest since the night Cisco had brought him back to Earth-1. So he'd made himself go and see her, only to have it royally screwed up when he'd hesitated. 

He blew out a harsh sigh as he rounded the final corner to his street. Harry walked with his hands shoved into his pockets, lost in thought as he made his way up the street. After his more permanent return this last time, Cisco had bullied him into putting down fixed roots in an attempt to keep him on earth-1. Harry had given in without much of a fight and purchased a modest house on the outskirts of Central City. It was close enough to the lab that he could be there in ten minutes and far enough out of town that he had some measure of privacy. He'd seen the home that the imposter Wells had lived in once; Cisco had taken him on a tour through town during their search for a house, and he'd been less than impressed. Harry had never liked the wood and stone construction that this earth seemed so fond of, but the outright sterility of the imposter's house had been off putting to say the least. He and Cisco had found something with space, updated appliances, two bedrooms and an office. Harry moved in and Cisco seemed less on edge that he'd be leaving at a moments notice. 

He smiled to himself as he walked, remembering Cisco's insistence that he needed a 'man cave' instead of the office. An idea he'd shot down with a pointed glare. Still, it was home. More so than what he'd had on Earth-2 and it felt more like home than he'd had in a long time. He kept the spare room for Jesse when she visited from Earth-3, even managing to hold his tongue when she brought Wally in tow. Wally was a good kid and... He made Jesse happy. 

Harry reached the driveway and walked up it, towards the front door. His walk had done little to warm him in the cool fall air and he would be glad to get inside. He glanced up at the entryway and frowned when he saw the light out. It could have been a simple faulty bulb, but Harry had fitted all of his exterior lights with LED bulbs from Earth-2 and it was almost unheard of for them to fail. A shiver passed down his spine that had nothing to do with the cool night and he slowed his steps as he looked around warily. When he was within a few yards of the door, a figure stepped out of the shadows and he froze.

"It's been a long time Harry." Caitlin Snow stood before him, a half smile on her face but her expression very much guarded. Harry was very much aware of the feeling of longing that settled in his chest as he regarded the woman before him. Not trusting himself to speak just then, he shook his head and stepped past her, halting in front of the front door.  One hand was still jammed into his pocket, balled tightly into a fist, and the other had come up to palm the biometric lock on the door frame. The lock clicked quietly in the door and Harry chanced a looked at Caitlin. She watched him silently. Their eyes met briefly but he couldn't read anything there except caution. He made his mind up, pushed the door open, and stepped back to allow her room. 

She hadn't even hesitated. Caitlin Snow just stepped past Harry and walked right into his house. After a moment to gather his resolve, Harry followed. 

X

Having her there, sitting on the sofa in his living room liked she'd been over a thousand times before (She hadn't. Not once.) left Harry torn between acknowledging how right it felt and worried because of how right it felt. That they had a connection would have been obvious to a blind man. Even so, Harry fought it with almost every part of him. It didn't seem fair. For either of them. 

Caitlin waited silently, refusing to start the conversation. She wouldn't even look at him. Instead Harry watched her as she looked around the room, taking her surroundings. It was obvious she was uneasy and he knew she was looking for a quick exit should the need arise. Part of him wondered though, if it was more to avoid hurting him than it was out fear of being there with him. 

Harry knew he couldn't wait any longer and with a resigned sigh, he sank down onto the couch next to her, ignoring it when she inhaled sharply next to him. He ran a hand through his messy hair and turned towards Caitlin. 

"I'm sorry I didn't come to see you sooner." The shocked look on her face tells him that she wasn't expecting an apology. He pushes on before he loses his nerve. "I'm sorry I haven't been here, for any of you." 

"If this is some long delayed journey of apology I can tell you right now I don't want to hear it. Not if you're just trying to make yourself feel better." 

Harry had the good sense to look embarrassed and ducked his head, avoiding her stare. He cleared his throat and looked up again, a half smile on his face. "I guess that takes care of that. So, how are you doing Snow?" 

Caitlin huffed a soft laugh and shook her head. Harry was relieved when she seemed to relax and settle more fully into the couch. He shifted and draped an arm over the back of the sofa, turned his body more fully to her and continued. "Sorry. I'm not good at this." 

"Been a long time since you had female company Harry?" Her voice held the faint echo of her counterpart and he couldn't suppress the shiver it sent down his spine. But it wasn't fear and his mind rebelliously supplied him with the thought that maybe there was promise in her voice. He squashed the thought as soon as it passed and fixed Caitlin with a glare. "Kidding," she offered, hands held up in mock surrender before she continued. "I don't do much socializing these days, but you probably already know that." 

"That makes two of us." He offered lamely. She giggled at that and Harry smiled. "Why don't we try more familiar ground? Has Cisco kept you filled in?" Her face changed, something darkening her features but it passed quickly and she nodded. 

"I'm assuming you didn't come to see me for a drink and company. What do you want Harry?" 

"You." He blurted it before he could stop himself and instantly felt his face as it reddened in embarrassment. He sees an eyebrow quirk up in amusement and stumbled on, trying to salvage any semblance to professional distance he'd been trying to affect. "The team... We need you. Want you back." He falls silent and watched as Caitlin brought a hand up and rested it gently over his wrist where it lay draped over the back of the couch. He felt a gentle squeeze there and waited, expecting... Anything. Cold. Pain. But there was only warmth and the gentle pressure of her hand on him. He felt his face as it reddened again and cleared his throat. Caitlin beat him this time. 

"I've been wondering how long it would be. I know Cisco wanted to ask, but he never did." Harry nodded, regret on his face but she smiled at him and he could feel relief slide through him. "Why now, Harry?" 

"We're down two people Snow. Barry and you. And we need you both." 

"We?" She asked, voice cold. 

"The team. They need you." He repeated, though he knew it wasn't what she was asking. Her hand left his wrist and he watched her retreat into herself. He wanted to badly to reach for her then but he couldn't move. He couldn't tell her. 

"It's been a long time Harry. I don't know if I'm that Caitlin anymore," she said as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

"Don't be ridiculous." He shot back, as irritation surged through him. 

"And don't you assume you know a damn thing about what you're implying Harry." She snapped and moved to stand. Harry reached out for her, a hand grabbing her wrist and as she stood. Caitlin turned quickly and he watched as her hand clenched into a fist. He waited again for the cold but it never came. Caitlin Snow simply watched him, anger and sadness plain on her face. Slowly, Harry stood and faced her, hand still around her wrist. 

"Snow. I'm so..." he started but she cut him off. 

"Don't." 

"We can't do this without you Caitlin. I can't do this without you." The two stood silently for a long minute, unmoving. Finally he relaxed his grip on her wrist and went to pull away. This time it was Caitlin who stopped him, her hand slid gently into his and their fingers entwined. 

"I need time Harry. Not much more." She squeezed his hand briefly and then pulled away. 

"Dont wait too long." Harry said quietly and watched as she made her way to the door. She turned back before she opened it and looked at him, a sad smile on her face. 

"Pot, kettle." 

And then she was gone again.


	4. Chapter 4

The elevator was slow today. It made the all too familiar trip down into the depths of the building drag on as the passenger inside leaned against the wall, willing it to both speed up and slow even further. Caitlin Snow had not slept well the night before. She'd sat all night in her apartment and thought about the coming day. She knew she'd have to make a decision. She'd put it off for months and at times she couldn't help but think she had just been waiting for someone else to make it for her. Her talk with Harry had proven that to be true but even he hadn't been willing to force a commitment from her. She'd have to do it herself. 

So she'd gotten up before the sun, showered and dressed and fretted about the day ahead. She'd done everything she could do to reasonably postpone what was coming until she finally gave up. Stalling wasn't going to make it any easier. Caitlin had made the familiar drive to S.T.A.R. Labs and had walked into the building before she could talk herself out of it. She'd taken the elevator, pressed the button that would take her down to the Cortex, and now she wished more than ever that she'd never come. Jitters were a hell of a thing when a person could literally freeze anything around them. 

The elevator slowed gently and she heard the dull chime that announced her arrival to the 600 level. She straightened, steeling her resolve and stared down the doors as they opened slowly. She'd been expecting an unfriendly welcome. It wouldn't surprise her to see everyone there, waiting, with weapons and powers ready to defend against whatever was coming. She wasn't expecting... Nothing. 

No one was there. The hallway was empty. Caitlin frowned and stepped warily out of the elevator. She listened for footsteps or conversation and when she heard nothing, she started walking. Her hands clenched and uncle chef at her sides and she could feel the familiar prickle of cold as it traveled down her spine. As she rounded the final corner and reached the doorway to the Cortex, Caitlin realized that the reason there was no welcome party waiting, hostile or otherwise, was because the lab was empty. 

She huffed a breath, half annoyed, and stood with her hands on her hips. At least if she was going to make the monumental decision to try and come back, someone could have had the decency to greet her. After all, Cisco and Harry had both told her she had a place on the team should she ever come back. We'll, here she was! 

Caitlin frowned as she looked around the familiar room until her eyes caught sight of a flashing computer screen. She walked over and read the warning. There was a meta human attack in downtown. That would explain the empty Cortex, but usually someone was there to coordinate. 

She realized, embarrassed, that it had usually been her that remained behind. Next to the console there was a set of comms equipment. She picked up the headset and put it on, and instantly heard voices in the other end. Cisco and Wally were engaging the enemy. It was the samurai that Caitlin had seen on the news several times. Through the comms, she could hear the two discussing how to take on the samurai without causing more damage. A third voice, Harry, offered suggestions while coordinating with Joe and the Central City PD. Caitlin hesitated when she heard Harry, and then opened a private channel to him. 

"What can I do, Harry?" There was silence for a long moment and Caitlin bit her lip as she waited. 

"Snow?" Was the whispered reply and she could hear the disbelief in his voice. 

"Who else?" 

"About time. I need you to clear a path from 6th through 15th Street so the PD can close off the streets and try to keep casualties to a minimum. Cisco has a program to..." 

"The program to keep the lights red and broadcast the meta alert to the app. I remember." She cut in as she settled at the console and started typing furiously. She heard Harry's quiet chuckle on the comms smiled despite herself. With the program activated she tapped into the traffic cameras and searched for Wally and Cisco on the footage. When she finally found them, she relayed to Harry what she could see and he passed the information on to Joe. The pair were fighting the samurai and it didn't look like it was going well. Wally was speeding through the street, trying to distract the man while Cisco kept throwing energy at him. The samurai dodged each time. Wally tripped and stumbled, which caused Cisco to nearly hit him with a burst. The distraction was enough of an opening for the samurai to close on Wally. 

"Harry. Wally is down and that thing is going after him." 

"Shit. Okay. We'll be there in 30 seconds." He said and the comms clicked off. Caitlin waited helplessly, staring at the screen and willed Wally to get up. He was too close to the samurai for Cisco to risk another blast and still hadn't gotten back to his feet. Cisco had been trying to keep the samurai distracted but even Caitlin could see he was tiring. Helpless, Caitlin could feel the cold flare inside of her. She clicked the comms on again and opened a channel to Cisco. 

"I'm in the Cortex, come get me!" 

"Caitlin?" Her friend asked, disbelief clear across the headset. 

"Do it!" Cisco didn't respond but in the next instant a breach opened in the lab and he was there in front of her. The two regarded one another silently and Caitlin smiled at her friend. 

"I didn't think you'd come." He said as he reached to take her hand. Caitlin stepped close and grinned. 

"We're you expecting someone else?" 

They reappeared on the street and Caitlin separated from Cisco, hands up and the cold building inside. The pair looked around before spotting Wally and the Samurai. Wally was being held in the air, the samurai's sword run clean through the neck of his suit. The boy looked unconscious or worse. As the pair approached, the samurai turned and a cold almost mechanical laughter sounded across the empty street. 

"I want you to bring me The Flash." The voice was cold, emotionless. Cisco and Caitlin shared a glance with once another and she could hear vehicles as they approached from behind her. "This boy is not The Flash. He's a pale imposter. Bring me the Flash or your city will fall." 

"If you've got beef, you're going to have to take it up with us man." Cisco shouted, hands clenched and ready. Caitlin tensed as she heard footsteps approach behind her, but a wave of calm passed through her and she knew without seeing that Harry had arrived. He stepped up next to her and halted and Caitlin chanced a look in his direction. He carried his pulse rifle and looked grim. When he didn't acknowledge her, Caitlin felt a pang of sadness before quickly squashing it. Now was not the time. 

"You think you can defeat me? You think your powers are going to save you breacher? And you, human, what will you do to stop me?" The samurai asked, addressing Harry last. Caitlin felt Harry shift beside her and the cold in her flared. 

"Why don't you come over here and find out." Harry ground out. 

Everything happened at once. The samurai bodily threw Wally away and launched himself towards the trio. Cisco fired, missed and had to dodge a blow from the sword that narrowly missed him. As the enemy focused on Cisco, Harry fired into his back and landed two glancing shots off of his armor. It had no effect except to enrage the man who turned, howling in anger and striking out towards Harry. Just as the blade would have connected fatally, everything stopped. A sharp clang echoed across the deserted street. No one moved. 

Cisco and Harry both regained their feet, staring at the scene before them in awe. The blade that had been aimed at Harry's neck, that the pair had seen slice through steel and concrete without pause, was held firmly in Caitlin's outstretched hand. Cold air billowed from where her fist closed around the blade and ice had slowly started creeping up the edge. Caitlin stared down the samurai with no expression, her eyes flashed from brown to pale and her hair was streaked with white. Locked in a stalemate, the pair regarded each other and she could hear the anger and effort coming from the man before her. 

"I will kill all of you. All that you love." The strangely mechanical voice bit out, rage loud and clear in the threat. Caitlin tightened her grip and swung her other hand forward. A blast of ice burst from her palm and hit the samurai square in his chest plate,sending him flying back. As he went, the sword pulled free and left a long gash on Caitlin's palm but she didn't feel it. With a final enraged scream, the samurai sheathed his sword and flew away. Everything started moving again. From behind her, she heard a familiar voice yelling Wally's name and turned in time to see Joe running to his fallen son. Caitlin watched, torn, knowing she should have gone to help him and unable to will herself to move. Just as she was about to make her way over, she felt a hand grip her arm gently and turned. Harry watched her, his expression guarded and it took Caitlin a moment to realize that she was still wrapped in cold. Not breaking eye contact, Caitlin took a deep breath and willed the cold to subside. As it did, the warmth from Harry's hand flooded her and left her suddenly exhausted. His gripped tightened slightly and he motioned for Cisco. 

"Get her back to the lab." He told the younger man, who still stared at her in awe and disbelief. Caitlin started to protest but was cut off when Cisco took her hand and they disappeared into a breach. The pair arrived at the lab in an instant and Caitlin dropped his hand in a huff. 

"I'm not here to be ordered about Cisco!" She yelled as she glared at her friend. For his part, Cisco held his hands up and stepped back. 

"Caitlin, sweetie, you still have a teensy tiny warrant out and Joe just showed up with half of the CCPD. I'm sure he's going to be grateful for your help, but we both know that Joe tends to shoot first and apologize later." He explained as he pulled his glasses off and ran a hand through his hair. He had a poorly concealed grin in his face as he walked over to check the computer feeds and monitor the situation. On screen they watched Wally and Joe. The young speedster was up on his feet, looking shaken but alive. Caitlin breathed a sigh of relief and sat in the closest chair. "Harry, we're good here. Want me to come and get you?" Harry must have said that he did because Cisco disappeared and reappeared with Harry in tow. Both men took a moment to shake hands before Harry turned his attention to Caitlin. 

"Snow. Impeccable timing as always." He said grinning at her. Caitlin flushed slightly, and frowned to try and cover it. Before she could say something scathing, still irritated by the fact that he'd barely acknowledged her, Harry grabbed the back of her chair and started pushing her through the room. She let out a yelp, glared at Cisco when she saw the grin on his face and crossed her arms over her chest. 

"Where the hell are you taking me now Harry?" 

"You need to have that hand looked at. I know an excellent doctor." He offered as he pushed her through the doorway and into what had been her office and exam room. She ground her teeth and fought the irritation that caused cold to flare gently in her. Harry must have known he was pushing it because he released her in the middle of the room and started rummaging around several of the drawers to gather first aid supplies. Caitlin watched him feeling petulant and angry. He was still avoiding her. Satisfied with what he'd pound, Harry dumped everything onto a tray and wheeled it and a chair over. He sat in front of her and reached out to her, but didn't take her injured hand in his. She glanced up fully intending to lay into him, but all of her anger left when she met his eyes. The longing there, longing she was familiar with because she'd been seeing it everyday in the mirror, stole all of her breath away. She felt herself flushing and noticed that Harry looked embarrassed as well. He cleared his throat suddenly and made a show of looking at the medical supplies. 

Caitlin inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, trying to get herself settled. His presence both unnerved and comforted her and the battle between the two was never ending. Trying to relax, Caitlin took her injured hand and draped it gently across the tray. Harry glanced up at her briefly before he unclenched her fingers and probed gently around the wound. She winced and her fingers twitched when he manipulated each digit to ensure there was no nerve damage and Harry paused to make sure she was okay. When she nodded, he continued. "Been moonlighting as a medic Harry?" 

Harry chuckled at that and began to clean her hand, before he started taping the wound shut. It wasn't deep, but it would be irritated for a few days, especially since it was on her hand. "With a speedster for a daughter, it goes with the territory. Plus, babysitting here means plenty of boo-boos in need of bandaids." His tone dripped with sarcasm and Caitlin giggled. As he unrolled some gauze and started to wrap her hand, she spoke without thinking. 

"Does this come with a kiss to make it better?" Harry stilled and his eyes shot straight to hers. The intensity there was overwhelming and Caitlin could feel her head spin. But before either could say anything, Cisco came bursting in completely unaware of what he'd interrupted. 

"Wally is going to be okay and he and Joe are on their way here. Iris is pissed and she wants to have a meeting." He trailed off and then unspoken question hung in the air. Would Caitlin stick around for the meeting? She didn't quite know herself. Her attention returned to Harry when she heard him sigh softly. He wouldn't look at her again and Caitlin knew that he was thinking she'd be leaving. She could feel the tension as it radiated from the man before her and she frowned. It unsettled her. Caitlin glanced at Cisco and offered her friend a smile. 

"Room for one more?" Cisco's face split into a grin and he let out a whoop. 

"We're back, baby! Almost. All the way. I'm going to go get food. All that breaching makes a guy hungry. Don't disappear on me now Caitlin!" Before she could respond Cisco had turned on his heel and run out of the room leaving a startled Caitlin in his wake. She giggled again turned back to Harry who had finished with her hand. 

"I'm glad you're sticking around Snow." Harry told her quietly as he absently moved the unused supplies around on the tray. "We'd better get ready. Miss West can be a force to be reckoned with and if Joe is coming, we might need to keep him... Distracted." 

"You mean so he doesn't try to shoot me?" She quipped dryly and Harry chuckled. 

"I meant so he doesn't try to arrest you, but detective West does seem to shoot first." Caitlin giggled and stood from the chair she'd been in while Harry cleaned up everything. As she stood, she looked around the room and felt the familiar feeling of being home. She sighed gently. It had been hard to be away from the lab and from the team. Being there now, it was like nothing had changed even if everything had. She was pulled from her musing when Harry took her injured hand gently in his. Caitlin watched as he brought her unban aged fingers to his lips and kissed them gently. Heat flood her again and the intensity was back in his too blue eyes. When she gave him a questioning look, Harry simply grinned and released her hand. "That's so you feel better." 

"Thanks Harry." 

"Anytime Snow."


	5. Chapter 5

In the aftermath of the battle with the samurai several things had become glaringly obvious. The first was that Team Flash was woefully unprepared to face an enemy as vicious and uncaring as the armored man. He showed no compunction about causing collateral damage to the city and the people who'd been caught in the battles that had taken place. The second was that Wally and Cisco were not strong enough, even together, to take him down. They may have been, with more time to train, but there wasn't enough time and it was like fighting uphill in the sand. For every step it seemed they gained, it felt like they slipped three or four back. Third, and possibly the most important, was the fact that the team needed Barry Allen back. Without him there the cohesion had started to fall apart and the bond they'd all shared was slowly being chipped away by infighting and small power struggles. 

Harry watched this all as an outside observer. Iris had taken the reigns of the team after her goodbye with Barry all those months ago. And she'd done an admirable job. But she was unflexible and unwilling to even entertain the idea that Barry would come back. So she pushed Cisco and Wally harder, and took more risks than he would have been comfortable with. Harry had seen Joe try to talk to her several times, but he hadn't been privy to the content of the conversations and there hadn't been a noticeable difference after. If anything, Iris had pushed harder. Harry recognized it for what it was and even though the others, especially Cisco, had started to hold it against her, Harry couldn't. Iris West was grieving. He'd behaved almost exactly the same way when his wife had died and he'd been left with a company in its infancy and an actual infant. He could understand. 

That was why he never argued with Iris and instead took to quietly supporting her. He'd seen the looks of disbelief Cisco had given him, especially after a particularly rough day, but Harry ignored them. Iris would either find her stride or she wouldn't, but he wouldn't be the one to try and kick her legs out. And he'd started working with the others, running interference and trying to smooth things over. For the most part he'd even been successful. 

And then the samurai had almost killed Wally a second time and demanded the return of the Flash. Both he and Cisco knew it was time. And they began working in earnest on a way to free the speedster. Their failed attempt was still fresh and  neither man wanted a repeat of what had taken place on the other Earth. They also wanted to avoid telling the others for as long as possible because Harry and Cisco both knew that none of the others would have approved. Not to mention the unavoidable curiosity about their doppelgangers. 

The final revelation that had been glaringly obvious in hindsight after the most recent attack, was that Team Flash needed Caitlin Snow just as much, if not more than Harry needed her. That was hammered home immediately when she'd joined them and ended up saving his life. Harry had been relieved when he'd heard her on the comms and when he'd joined her on the street, he'd felt more right and sure than he had in recent memory. Caitlin Snow had a way of settling him. Before he'd known why she was able to do it, he'd resented her. Or tried too. But she'd quickly torn down those walls and insinuated herself into his life before he'd ever realized it. 

Now, with her rejoining the team tentatively, and the impending threat from the samurai, Harry wondered how the dynamic would change. Which is why he had been trying and failing to keep himself occupied while he waited for the others to arrive. Iris had called a meeting and as the de facto leader of the team, the others had yielded to her authority and agreed on a time. But, no one had arrived yet. Letting out a frustrated huff, Harry dropped his project and ran a hand through his slowly regrow in hair. He didn't want to have to round the others up like some sort of den mother and wished that they could just get the meeting over with. It had been a long day. The mop up from the fight had gotten underway and the list of injuries was slowly coming in thanks to Joe. So far no deaths, but they'd been lucky. Caitlin's arrival had probably prevented that. 

Harry checked the time once more and rolled his eyes. He'd have to start rounding the others up, there was nothing for it. He walked out of his office and into the Cortex, heading through the room to bank of security monitors. He'd check to see if anyone had arrived before he started wandering all over. As he flipped through the footage he paused he saw Iris and Caitlin standing in the lobby on the ground floor, waiting for the elevator. He hesitated before he clicked through, instantly seeing the uneasy set in Caitlin's shoulders. Harry frowned and adjusted the audio on the monitor. He didn't want to spy, but Caitlin being back was a fragile agreement at best and as much as he could understand Iris' position, he wouldn't let her attack Caitlin. A surge of anger and protectivness rose in Harry and he watched the interaction with interest. If need be, if things went south, he'd be the first person to intervene and end the exchange. But as he listened, he found himself surprised. 

"I'm glad you're back Caitlin. Really I am. I know everyone has missed you." Iris' voice was quiet through the speakers, but Harry could hear the sincerity. 

"Me too. I'm sorry it's taken so long." 

"Don't be. A lot has happened. A lot has happened to you." Iris waved Caitlin's apology off with a smile. For her part, Caitlin had her arms wrapped loosely around her middle. She radiated discomfort. 

"How are you doing? Really doing?" Caitlin asked, and Harry noted the way Iris slumped slightly. 

"I'm.. Im going to keep going. That's what Barry wanted. That's all I can do." 

"He loves you very much Iris. If there's any way, he'll come back." 

Iris smiled and Harry watched the two women embrace briefly. The elevator opened then and the pair stepped inside. He clicked the footage over and continued to watch, starting to feel like he was intruding. 

"How are you doing? I know that if you hadn't come when you did, I might not be going to dinner with Wally later, thank you for that." 

"I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know." Caitlin answered with a chuckle. 

"And Harry better be thanking you too. It sounds like you saved him too." Iris continued, a smile clear in her voice. Caitlin sobered, some of the humor leaving her at the memory of what had happened. 

"He'll probably just remind me of the times he's saved me. And tell me I still owe him." Harry glared at the monitor, but realized that he was eavesdropping and if he overheard something, well then that was his fault. 

"That sounds like Harry. How are things... Between you two?" 

"We're not... I don't know what you're talking about." Harry felt his face grow warm and reached to turn the audio off, his hand above the switch but not moving to turn it off. 

"Caitlin. I have eyes. Even my dad has them, apparently, because he's asked about it. I know you're going to tell me it's 'complicated'," she said, emphasizing the last with air quotes, "But Harry has been miserable since you left. Cisco had to drag him back from Earth-2 after... After Barry left. And I know he and Barry are close, but there's no way he was pining away, as hard as he was, for my fiance." Iris looked at Caitlin pointedly while the other woman avoided her gaze altogether. From his place in the Cortex, Harry waited, longing to hear what Caitlin was going to say and dreading it at the same time. Just as she started to speak, Harry was startled by a hand clapping him on his back and Cisco's voice suddenly loud in his ear. 

"Yo. Harry!" He slammed his hand down reflexively on the keyboard and killed the audio feed but missed the one that would black the screen. He threw an annoyed glance at Cisco as the younger man looked over his shoulder at what he'd been watching. The younger man's mouthed formed an 'O' and his eyebrows lifted in surprise. Harry blew out a sigh, irritated and leveled a glare at Cisco. "Dude, creepy much?" 

"I was just checking to see if anyone else was here. The meeting." He offered lamely and scowled when Cisco threw him a look of disbelief. "Where did you even come from?" 

"I had a lunch date with Gypsy." The younger man said as he sank into the chair at his work station. At Harry's look, he threw his hands up. "You know when two people like each other, typically they spend time together." 

"Ramon." Harry warned, hands braced on the table and knuckles whitening. 

"Or, at least on this earth they do. Maybe spying is an Earth-2 thing." Cisco continued, feigned innocence in his tone as he pointedly didn't look at Harry. 

"I was just checking to see if anyone was here and saw the two of them. Caitlin looked uncomfortable. I wanted to make sure nothing happened." 

"Uh huh. And did you have to ride that white horse of yours in to save the day?" 

"What? No. I.." Harry stalked away, going back to the board with the equations he was working on. 

"She's been back what, four hours? Five? She's going to be uncomfortable." Cisco called out. 

"I know that." Harry snapped, erasing a mistake. 

"Give her some credit. We have to." Cisco's back was turned and he didn't see the marker until it sailed past his head and bounced off of his console. He picked it up and turned in his chair, fixing Harry with a look. "Does someone need a timeout? It's not nice to throw things." 

"You are far too chipper for someone who got tossed around like a dog toy a few hours ago." Harry said as he walked over and snatched the marker back. "I was just making sure Caitlin wasn't being cornered. Miss West can be abrupt." 

"You're not kidding. So, how did it go?" 

"I don't know. You interrupted." Harry said, resigned and taking the seat next to Cisco. Cisco looked at Harry thoughtfully and the scrutiny made Harry fidget uncomfortably. 

"This should be fun." The younger man finally said, a smile on his face. Harry raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything. "You both know that it's inevitable right?" 

"Ramon," Harry started, tone filled with warning. 

"All I'm saying, is that you and I both know what could be." 

"On another earth." Harry snapped. 

Hands raised, Cisco continued. "Keep telling yourself that man." 

"Its hardly fair to her." There. He'd said it. That was the crux of the entire problem. While Harry had come to terms with the idea that maybe, just maybe there was even the slightest chance that the Caitlin on this earth could love him the way that her counterpart loved his on the other one, he didn't think it was fair to her. She'd never had a choice. Even though he'd never had one either. 

"Caitlin is a big girl Harry. Why don't you let her decide?" 

The elevator chime sounded from out in the hallway before either man could continue, effectively ending the conversation. Harry strained to hear the soft footsteps of the Iris and Caitlin as they approached and felt the familiar sense of calm snap into place when Caitlin came in to view. Unable to stop himself, Harry stared at her and she stared right back. Neither saw the look that Iris and Cisco exchanged. 

Finally Iris broke the silence as she clapped her hands. "We need to talk." She said, addressing the group gathered there. 

"About what?" Harry asked, finally looking away. 

"I want to bring Barry home." She said and looked at each one in turn, as if waiting for argument. Next to him, Harry heard Cisco's mumbled 'about time'. 

And so they started planning.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My posts are inconsistent and I've got some stuff I'm dealing with so they'll probably continue to be so. I'm so very grateful to all of you for reading and your comments and kudos.

Two weeks passed in a blur and Caitlin found herself settling in to the new dynamic of Team Flash. It wasn't without its hiccups though. When the dust had settled and Joe had finally put in an appearance at the lab, everyone had waited for the inevitable confrontation between Caitlin and him. Harry and Cisco had both stood between the two, ready to intervene, but it hadn't been necessary in the end. Caitlin had apologized to Joe and asked him to extend her apologies to Cecile, which he'd flat out refused to do. When Iris had started to scold Joe, he'd silenced her with a look and approached Caitlin. Harry had blocked him for a moment until he'd felt her hand on his shoulder. The two exchanged a look, and he'd stepped aside. Caitlin stood before Joe, waiting for him to unleash on her, and if anyone was more surprised than her when he'd pulled her into a hug, it would have been difficult to find. Joe had told her to tell Cecile herself when she came for dinner and that there was nothing to forgive. That crisis averted, the team moved on to the next. Bringing Barry home.

That was hiccup number two. No one was sure how to do it. Harry and Cisco had been working on it together, in between monitoring for any signs of the samurai and other meta related issues. The pair hadn't come up with much that they were sharing. In fact, the pair hadn't been very forthcoming about anything since they'd started working. Any time Caitlin had offered to help Cisco had looked panicked and Harry had flat out refused. It hurt. Part of Caitlin wanted to be angry with them but she couldn't bring herself to work up to it. She'd been gone for a long time and hadn't even been there when Barry had left for the speed force. She'd heard about it from Cisco after it had happened, and the guilt had been heavy but she'd had her own issues to deal with. So the two of them excluding her made sense in a way.

But it didn't mean Caitlin wasn't going try and contribute on her own. Which is how she'd found herself in the breach room, running diagnostics and trying to find a way to boost the systems signal. She'd never been heavily involved in the construction of the accelerator when the imposter Wells had hired her. Instead she'd focused more on researching the potential contributions the accelerator would bring to bioengineering and medical research. And played medic to the team for various injuries and illnesses in the long months leading up to the activation. It was the reason she'd gotten to know Ronnie. He'd been shockingly accident prone for someone with two degrees and such a self assured manner. After a while Caitlin realized he'd been doing it to get to know her. She smiled fondly at the memories of late nights patching up the over priced plumber and their blossoming relationship. She missed him, but Ronnie Raymond was in another life. She wasn't the same Caitlin Snow anymore.

Caitlin sighed gently as she sorted through various readouts and diagnostics on the monitors before her. The others had left for the day; even Harry had given in to Cisco's incessant pestering to go and get dinner and had left with the engineer. They were probably all home by now. Caitlin had excused herself from any social gathering with the team fairly often and even though they still asked her, none of them really expected her to accept just yet. For that she was thankful. It gave her time alone in the lab and she could go over things on peace.

As she worked and ran simulations, Caitlin found her mind had drifted to Harry. After their initial encounter in the wake of the fight with the samurai, both Caitlin and Harry were doing a careful dance around one another. The pair still worked together but the closeness was absent. Caitlin didn't know how to go about bridging the gap and Harry seemed insistent on keeping her at arms length. It troubled the young woman to no end but she tried not to let it get to her. Something seemed to be bothering Harry lately. She'd see it in his face when he stared too long at the board he'd been writing on or in the way he watched her when he didn't think she noticed. And being gone for all of those months had left a good sized gap in her usual list of reasons for what could be bothering him.

It wasn't that he was overly expressive with any of the team. That had never been Harry's style. The only time she ever saw any particular emotion from him was usually annoyance or sarcasm. Although to be fair, as he'd grown more comfortable with the team, he'd made an effort to temper his lack of social skills with more patience and good humor. But since her return to the team, things seemed more up in the air between her and Harry than during her long absence. At least when she'd been gone it had been easy to define the limits of their relationship as it were. But now... Now Caitlin couldn't even begin to define Harry and she was left feeling lost. Like she was missing a part of herself. And wasn't that just the craziest part because there hadn't been anything there in the first place? Or at least there hadn't been anything concrete. The dance the pair had been doing around  one another was obvious though, even as careful as they'd both been not to acknowledge it. Even the team had picked up on it. But none of them, Caitlin included, knew what to do about it.

Caitlin was pulled from her musings by an alarm flashing silently on the screen. She clicked out of the diagnostic program and brought up the notification panel. She fully expected a meta alert and was surprised when she realized she was seeing an incoming transmission from another Earth. Thrown for a moment, Caitlin got to work opening the file, assuming at first that perhaps Jesse was calling in. When she realized that the transmission was coming from an entirely separate earth, she felt herself pale. Without thinking, without really knowing how, her fingers somehow typed in the commands to open the communication and brought up a window with a video broadcast. There on the monitor Caitlin Snow was greeted by her doppelganger. Both women stared at one another silently. The other Caitlin looked panicked and had a deer in the headlights expression on her face. For her part, Caitlin Snow of Earth-1 felt shock. Her only other experience with a doppelganger had been her unpleasant counterpart on Earth-2. The cold in her flared briefly as her mind raced. Surely this couldn't be that version. But if it wasn't, then who was she?

"Hello Caitlin. I can totally explain."

X

Harry and Cisco had finished dinner and were on their way back to the Lab when Cisco's phone went off. When he checked the notification, he looked over at Harry who was driving, and grinned. "Yo, Caitlin ala alternate earth is calling right now. Want me to patch it through? "

Harry glanced sideways at Cisco who held up his phone and nodded. He drove in the direction of the lab as the young engineer typed furiously on his phone. He and Cisco had kept in contact with their counterparts on the other earth although it was rare for Caitlin to call at all. He frowned at the windshield as unease prickled the back of his neck and gripped the steering wheel tighter. A wave of uncertainty rolled through him and he glanced at Cisco again, only to see the young man frowning down at his phone.

"We have a problem."

"And that would be?" Harry asked though he already an idea of what he was about to hear.

"I can't answer the call. I can't answer the call, because someone else at the lab already did." Cisco replied, voice calm even though he looked at Harry with wide eyes. They'd kept their visit a secret from the the entire team. Neither of them were ready to explain yet. Harry wasn't really sure he wanted to at all because he knew the questions that would inevitably be raised. Especially by Caitlin. Caitlin. Suddenly he knew.

"We're going to be in big trouble Cisco."

"Big. Big trouble."

X

The details. The details of everything. It shouldn't have been so simple to lay it all out in such a short amount of time but the other Caitlin was nothing if not succinct and to the point. Just like her. It was shocking how alike the two were. But then again it really wasn't. Was it? Not from what she'd been told. Barry. The speed force. The other world. Everything. Harry and Cisco had gone to another world to try and free Barry, and in the process they'd discovered parallel versions of everyone. And that was just the tip of the iceberg. 

Caitlin of Earth-1 sat back in her chair and stared blankly at the screen in front of her. The other Caitlin had just finished telling her about her relationship with Harry and how it had developed. Hearing herself talk about the shared connection with another version of Harry was both comforting and depressing. Comforting  because she knew it was right, even on a other world and depressing because she wanted it so badly there on that earth. Admitting that to herself, after so long left her feeling empty. She listened numbly as the other Caitlin finished her story and could hear the hesitation in her voice as she did.

"Can I ask... Why you're calling now?" Earth-1 Caitlin asked, observing the faint blush that passed over her counterparts' face. 

"Harry. Both of them. They can be difficult." the alternate Caitlin began, pausing briefly to catch caitlin's eye before she continued. "I... We haven't been together long. It's been a matter of months but it feels right. I'm just.. I have to tell him something and I'm not sure how. Or even how he's going to take the news." She didn't need to hear it out loud because Caitlin already knew what was coming. She closed her eyes tight as a wave of happiness and anguish washed over her. It was a strange feeling. She was elated and sad in the same turn. The other Caitlin must have seen the play of emotions cross her face because she cleared her throat gently on screen. "I'm sorry. I know this can't be easy, right  now." 

"It's fine! Harry and I... We aren't.." Caitlin interrupted. Too quickly. The visitor from another earth smiled patiently and  nodded. Just as Earth-1 Caitlin was about the continue, she heard two pairs of footsteps behind her and whirled to face them. 

Cisco and Harry stood there. Cisco looked panicked and Harry looked resigned the silence stretched for a long, pointed moment, before Cisco cleared his throat and clapped his hands together. 

"Caitlin! And... Caitlin... I see you two have met." From behind her, the other Caitlin spoke up. 

"You're both in lot of trouble. You know that right?" Harry and Cisco exchanged a look before Harry's eyes locked on Earth-1 Caitlin. Beside him, Cisco sighed and nodded but Caitlin spoke before he could. 

"Yes, they are." 

 

X


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had an awful lot of change and upheaval in the past half year and I apologize that this has taken so long. I'm not even sure anyone will read it but here it is. Things are still rough and I won't promise regular updates. Again apologies.

Caitlin excused herself from the inevitably awkward conversation that was about to take place on the alternate earth, Earth-1, after apologizing profusely to both Cisco and her doppelganger and scolding Harry mercilessly. Frustrated and edgy, she sat back in the chair and blew a hard breath out. Her dilemma remained unresolved and it was only a matter of time before her Harry would come looking for her. She'd been tempted to approach her Cisco and ask his opinion, but even as close as they'd grown in the months that had passed since their attempt to break into the speed force, the young engineer and the doctor of ophthalmology still couldn't seem to quite line up. It wasn't the concerning feeling of a missed connection. Instead, Caitlin mused as she chewed her lip in thought, it had more to do with the amount of time. Both missed and together. The closeness was there, just below the surface. Probably equal to their Earth-1 counterparts even. It was just a matter of time.

The sudden vibration and sound of her phone startled her and she pulled it from her pocket. As much as she hated to admit it, Caitlin was relieved when she saw the caller was her office rather than Harry. She wasn't quite ready to face him yet. She hadn't even really come to terms with the issue herself. Even as the thought passed her mind, she felt the pang of longing in her chest. She didn't like to keep secrets, especially from Harry. After everything they'd been through in those first weeks, neither of them was comfortable with any more distance than necessary. It left an act ache in her chest to keep things from him. And she knew he'd probably be able to feel it as well, if he couldn't already. That had been why she'd made a last ditch effort to seek advice and reached out to the other Earth. Only imagine her surprise when her doppelganger answered. And then the increasing issue of what to tell the woman that was staring at her from across the multiverse in confusion and sadness.

Caitlin had told her the truth. She couldn't help it. When Earth-1 Harry had come he'd shared the woman's painful history. The hurts and betrayals and constant let downs that had plagued the young woman. He'd shared his ever increasing pain at her situation, and inadvertently revealed his feelings for her. It would be arrogant to say that no one felt for another person the way she and her Harry felt for each other because if anyone could, it was their counterparts on that distant earth. Caitlin wondered sometimes if they weren't destined to feel pain the way she and her Harry had been destined to feel misplaced without one another.

With a hard sigh, Caitlin stood and shrugged her jacket on. She needed to go to the hospital and she needed more time to think. She regretted avoiding Harry, but she wasnt strong enough to face him just yet. She bit her lip as she waited for the elevator to descend, staring absently into space. Suddenly an overwhelming feeling of warmth spread through her and she realized Harry was probably on the elevator heading down to her right then. She frowned, stamped down the sudden urge to run, and braced herself. It was hard to concentrate, all she wanted was to tell him. All she wanted was for things to be OK. But how could they? She was afraid. 

The elevator doors slid open with a quiet sound of metal and a warm breeze stirred across her face. She instantly found her eyes drawn to Harry's face, to his stunning blue eyes, creased at the edges in an open and warm smile. Unbidden, her fear fled and she felt rightness settle all through her. Without a word Harry stepped forward, out of the elevator and cupped her face with his hands. Caitlin breathed his name quietly just as his lips pressed gently against hers. She reached up and fisted the material of his sweater tight in both hands and pulled him against her. She could feel his smile in the kiss and relaxed against him. After a long moment Harry pulled back and looked Caitlin up and down. Concern crossed his face when she didn't immediately speak but he schooled his expression into neutral quickly. 

"Cait?" 

"Hmm?" She answered, voice higher than usual. 

"Is everything okay?" Harry asked her quietly, trying to quell the uncertainty in his chest and allow her time to explain. When she didn't immediately answer, Harry shoved his hands into his pockets and cleared his throat awkwardly. "Were you looking for me?" He tried again. It wasn't unusual for her to be at the lab with him in her off hours or on lunch, but she usually told him and they made plans. She hadn't done this time and now it looked like she was sneaking out. 

"I... No. Yes. I was but I got called back to work. I have to go back to work. Umm.. Emergency." she managed lamely. Her face felt flushed and she could feel the growing discomfort rolling off Harry in waves. She wanted, ached to reach out to him but she couldn't. Instead she dropped her gaze, staring down at the floor. 

"Is everything OK?" 

"I'm sure it is. Routine probably" she rushed out, and stepped around him into the open elevator. As the doors started to slide closed, Harry reach a hand out to hold them open. 

"Caitlin. Is everything okay? With... With us?" Harry asked, voice soft, fear veiled just enough that his voice didn't shake. When caitlin's eyes started to tear up he moved to step into the elevator but she held up a hand. 

"Harry," her voice had gone quiet as well, emotion barely concealed and Harry felt ice shoot through him. "I... We'll talk later. Please. I promise." Both of them stood silently, regarding one another. Finally Harry stepped back with a curt nod and waited for the elevator doors to close. As they started to he locked eyes with her, warmth flaring again as he did and he spoke. 

"I love you Cait." Then the doors were shut and the elevator was taking her back to the surface and the uneasy feeling settled back in his chest. It had weight. It hurt. Without noticing or caring, Harry made his way into the lab and sat down at his desk. He ran a hand through his unruly hair, and stared blankly at the console before him. Stared for a good few minutes before he realized he was seeing a recent transmission log to the other earth. Caitlin had made a call. And she'd been upset. But why? And were the two related? Fighting the urge to call her, Harry settled back in his chair and tried to recall some of the warmth and comfort her presence always brought. It came, but it never entirely overcame the nagging uncertainty in his stomach that something was wrong. But he knew he couldn't press the issue. He'd have to wait for her. 

On the elevator Caitlin had sagged back against the wall as soon as the doors  slid shut. The pain in Harry's expression had almost broken her resolve but it also set her fear of his reaction even more irrationally in place. She tried to take a few calming breaths as the elevator made its ascent to the surface, and was startled once again when her phone broke the oppressive silence in the elevator. She pulled it out, saw the number and took a deep steadying breath. 

"Hello?" 

"Hello, is this Doctor Snow's number?" 

"Speaking" she manged to keep her voice steady. 

"Doctor Snow, this is the OBGYN scheduling desk calling to remind you that you have an intake appointment on Friday at 1 pm. Did you have any questions?" 

Caitlin sighed gently, closed her eyes tight and told the caller no before she thanked them and put her phone back. As the elevator arrived at the surface, she practically ran from S.T.A.R. Labs. The further she got the more lost and drawn back she felt. It was a painful battle. One she knew Harry was fighting as well. 

 

Xxxxxx

 

Some day in the not too distant future they'd look back on this and probably smile. Not laugh. There was too much emotion and hurt right now for him to see any humor in the situation whatsoever, but he was sure they'd smile. 

If he survived. 

Caitlin was in full tirade mode on Earth-1 after sending Cisco fleeing with a stab at the door. All the while glaring at Harry. She'd been going for almost forty minutes and while he'd kept his own, he knew they were both dancing around what was actually the issue. He'd made the mistake of trying to push it though and that was the one and only time  her alter ego flared. But Caitlin had squashed it well and picked up even more vehemently. She'd questioned him about the other earth, about why he'd gone, about why he'd never told the team, and about why he'd never told her about her counterpart. She seemed particularly hung up on the relationship her doppelganger had with his and had been edgy every time he tried to ask her what the two women had been discussing. 

The root of the issue, and this was true for both of them, seemed to be the lack of free will and choice. Something Caitlin continued to hit on and every time she did, Harry could feel a sting of hurt. He'd never had a choice either, did he? But he couldn't be angry at her because for so very long that had been what held him back. Then she'd rejoined team Flash and it felt like something between them had started to change. It felt like things were better. He could almost feel like the thing he wanted most was within reach. And then Cisco had gotten that stupid notification and his whole world had crashed down. And the woman at the center of it was yelling at him.

Not many people could do that and get away with it he mused with a sardonic smile while he stared into middle distance and felt her anger almost physically. It was unsettling. 

Harry realized Caitlin had stopped talking after a long moment and startled himself back into the present. She was frowning at him and had her hands on her hips. He'd missed something. 

"Harry. Are you even listening?" she asked, disbelief in her tone. Harry nodded dumbly. This was potentially a minefield. "Then what do you have to say for yourself?" 

"I don't... Know?" He offered and it was clearly the wrong thing to say. 

"You. You don't know." Caitlin huffed an annoyed breath and took a few steps towards Harry. He tensed, couldn't help it, it was an automatic reaction to the sudden rush of warmth in his chest. A reaction painful because it wasn't the right one. But she was near and suddenly all he wanted was to keep her there. Abruptly he closed the distance between them and before Caitlin could recoil he reached out and took her hand gently in his. 

"Caitlin I am sorry. I'm sorry for not telling you. It wasn't fair. But what would it have changed?" He started, trying to read the expression on her face. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Knowing what you know, does it...." He broke off, tried to gather his strength and felt her hand tighten ever so slightly against his. Pushing on, he rushed to get the jumble of words out into something coherent. "Does knowing what you know change anything for you Caitlin?" 

The warmth in him flared but he could feel the nagging fear eating away at its edges. When Caitlin didn't respond right away, he let go of her hand and turned away to pace across the lab. After a long moment her took a steadying breath, turned and faced her from the safety of about ten feet. 

"You think you're the only one who hasn't had a choice, Snow?" That got a reaction for her because as soon as said it anger crossed her features and she started to speak. Harry cut her off. "I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to fall in love with you!"   
Harry started to pace again. "You're an  amazing woman and asset to the team. You're smart, funny, beautiful. You care." He snapped, glaring at her while she looked on, shocked. "You care about people and you shouldn't, people that don't deserve it. People like Zolomon, your mother... Me." 

"Harry.." Caitlin tried to interrupt but Harry waved her off and kept going. Panic was fueling his rant now because he was afraid that this was it, this was the way everything would fall apart. 

"None of this is my fault Snow. I'm sorry you had to find out this way but it hasn't changed a damn thing. We can still go on the way that we always have and ignore whatever this is."

"Harrison Wells!" Caitlin's voice rang out and Harry tensed again. Cautiously, he turned and found Caitlin a few feet away. Her eyes were angry and hurt and she'd crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't you dare try and run away now." 

"I'm not!" He snapped. 

"You are, just like always. I'm surprised you aren't back on your earth already. Unpleasant conversations aren't your thing are they?" she growled, and Harry felt every bit of warmth leave him instantly. This was it. It had to be. Suddenly resigned, Harry leaned back and settled himself against the edge of a nearby desk. He wouldn't meet Caitlin's eye. "I'm sorry that this is so hard for you. It must be wildly unfair that the great Harrison Wells of Earth-2 is inconvenienced yet again by the fact that he's one part of a two person inescapable weird destiny thing!" 

Harry opened his mouth to respond, thought the better of it, and remained silent. Caitlin was furious, and there was nothing for it. Anything he could say wouldn't be right. Caitlin saw him move to speak and when he didn't she started in on him again, stalking to within a few feet as she spoke. 

"Did you ever once stop to think about talking to me about this Harry!" That got a reaction from him and his brow furrowed in anger. 

"When? When you disappeared after HR's  funeral? When you dropped off the grid?" he snapped. 

"I needed time."

"What do you think I was giving you?" Harry threw his hands up, voice raised in exasperation. 

"You could have told me before. It's not as if this was a new development, is it Harry?" Caitlin was close enough that she jammed a finger into his chest and glared at him. For his part, the brief contact sent a flare of warmth down into Harry's abdomen, but the fear squashed it quickly. 

"Would it have changed anything Caitlin?" His voice was quiet now and he reached up to take her hand from where it had been pointed into his chest. When she didnt immediately pull away he squeezed her hand tight and held it. Caitlin didn't answer him for a long moment. It wasn't until after she had pulled away and started to retreat towards the door that she finally did say something. Harry barely heard her, and the pain and warmth her words sent flaring through him made him sag back against the desk again. 

"It would have changed everything."

Caitlin rounded the corner and then she was gone and Harry was alone.

 

X


End file.
